(rap this in your head)
My name is Caitlin
Don’t be hatin’
Don’t give me meat
or wheat
‘cause I’m not playin’
I’ll puke that stuff all over your front deck
then I’ll sit on my couch and watch Parks and Rec.
Liz Lemon and Leslie Knope
are super cool and super dope.
I love my politics and Harry Potter
And you won’t see me on any police blotter,
I’m no bad girl I’m a nerd you see, 
I’m obsessed with internet, books, and t.v.
Don’t ‘hmu’ because chat-speak is lame
You’ll use correct grammar if you want to know more than my first name. 
WORD. 
I’m really tired and I felt this was a good idea. I’ll probably regret it.